It's Sooooo Not Fair!
by sandwiches
Summary: Light oneshot ficlet. Harmless fun, methinks! Poor Jack...it really isn't fair, y'know! Challenge response from As The Stargate Turns.


Disclaimer: don't own them. It's sooooo not fair!

**It's Sooooo Not Fair!**

"With all due respect, General, I think that you may be being a bit harsh. Some might say exacting. There are other adjectives I can use. For example, severe, rigorous, stringent, iron-fisted, bloody-minded and...and, by the way, did I mention _harsh_?"

General George Hammond gave hima look makingit plain that if the matter had been any more serious, their conversation would currently have to be navigating it's way through the bars of his comfortable holding cell.

Colonel Jack O'Neill plastered his very best sulky teenager face on and slumped back down into his chair.

"But it's not_ fair_!"

The General managed to restrain his amusement. Just about. He might have rolled his eyes a little in the direction of Doctor Jackson, but it would be a cold day in hell before he'd swear to that in a court of law.

"She asked for yours specifically, Colonel. In this case, I have been ordered to assent to her request. Who am I to disagree?"

He saw his 2IC almost explode back out of his chair. He didn't though, which was a sign of some admirable restraint, he supposed. Shame he hadn't thought about that just a little bit earlier.

"It's not a matter for debate, Colonel. It's already done. Dismissed."

He watched as SG1 left the room. Teal'c and Daniel left first, the Jaffa with a respectful inclination of his head and the archaeologist with one of the biggest portable piles of slapstick paperwork he had ever had the good fortune to see.

Oh, but watching him trying to contain it was funny.

Yet still,George Hammondmanaged to remain composed.

Major Carter waited just outside of the office. She was, after all, an extraordiarily smart one.

She knew what was coming and was prepared to deal with it.

He looked to Colonel Jack O'Neill. "I think I said 'dismissed', Colonel."

He swaggered to his feet defiantly.

His shoulders, however,then slumped in despair.

When he spoke, his subordinate's tone was quiet, almost timid.

"General?"

His voice was quite firm this time. "Dismissed, Colonel!"

He observed one of the planet's foremost warriors, as he slouched grumpily out of the door.

He counted cattle (well, after all, he was 'Hammond of Texas') and had gotten no further than six sturdy steers when said foremost warrior stuck his head back in.

He was doing the puppy dog eyes thing. The poor man had clearly never realised that they only seemed to work on women, and the last time he'd looked, General George Hammond, USAF, was _not _a woman.

"Sir, it's just not _fai_..."

The Colonel was very quickly yanked out of room, and therefore from his field of vision.

The remarkable brain of Major Samantha Carter had, in his own humble opinion, just proven it's worth all over again.

He chuckled.

It was perhaps true that the emotionally distressed officer had been removed from his presence with some minor undue force.

But it was done and he was glad.

He chuckled again.

That was going to hurt him in the morning!

---------

As they walked along the corridor, he rubbed his upper arm and glowered at her.

"Ow."

She ignored him.

"I said _ow_, Carter!"

She smiled. "I heard you, Sir, but it isn't that bad, is it?"

He appeared apalled by her statement. "Yes, Carter. Yes it _is_."

She inspected his arm as they moved.

He pulled it away from her.

"No Carter, not _that_." He grimaced. "It's Anise and her freaky-deaky snakey symbiote, Freya." He huffed in disgust. "In fact, I'm not sure which one is the damned symbiote. I don't even _care._ I just don't think I'll be wanting it back when she, it, _whatever_, is done with it."

Major Samantha Carter shook her head. She simply didn't seem to understand his pain.

"Sir, it's just your XBox!"

He actually stomped a foot.

"Carter, you are such a _girl _sometimes!"

She just laughed, patting him sympathetically and perhaps a little too _firmly_, on the shoulder. The one she'd just wrenched, of course.

"Sucks to be you, Sir."

He scowled at her.

"If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off, Carter."

As she opened the door to the womens locker room, she looked back over her shoulder at him.

"Nice one, Colonel. Can I give you some advice though? Please don't try that line, ever again, on an astrophysicist?"

She grinned cheekily.

"Because we happen to know it just isn't so."

He glared at the door as it shut in his face.

"It's sooooo not fair," he grumbled to himself as he walked away.


End file.
